What is co-parenting?
Co-parenting is when two people, who are parents do not live together but share the responsibly of raising a child or children together. This usually happens when there is a marriage break down, a separation or divorce. They will usually work in partnership to bring up the child with equal responsibilities. The child will also have the right to maintain an equal relationship with both parents. Both parents will come together to ensure the child or children have a stable environment, good education and an all round stable routine. They will usually maintain the same standards in discipline as well as rewards and treats. Co-parenting allows the child or children to have a secure upbringing without having a conflict of interest.
Co-parenting is all about being amicable with each other, which enables the child or children to maintain a healthy close relationship with both parents. It’s not easy but it is possible. After a breakdown of a relationship, communication and bad feelings with each other is usually, but maintaining the one shared treasure in both lives putting aside differences for the child’s sake is paramount. It is a challenge in itself, but remembering all the parenting skills and desires for the child or children should not change. Remembering to stay consistent, resolve any conflict with each other co-parenting can work.
Co-parenting today is what a lot of separated couples go through, seeing how others manage and come together can show the child or children that it is ok for them to live between parents who can come together to give them the best care possible. With them having friends in the same situation and now seeing co-parenting on the television will become the ‘norm’ and will accept the situation sooner, as many years ago, divorce and separation was seen as a bad thing to do.One big key to success in co-parenting is allowing the child or children to see good communication between both parents. When they are being dropped off at one of the parents house, allowing them to see both parents talk can put them at ease so the child knows that they enjoy the time spent with each parent and can have equal respect for their parents. Ensuring that the child’s basic needs are met is a great way to start and build on. You can discover working together – co-parenting you can have a completely different and healthy relationship with each other as you both have one goal, your child’s happiness and welfare.
When two people can no longer stay in their relationship it can be a very difficult time. Not only do you have to rebuild your life again without that other person you thought you would spend the rest of your life with, you have to continue with everyday life, which can feel like a massive chore. When you have a child together life care seem a little harder. How will you cope as a single parent? Will your best be enough? Not showing your child how hard and painful the divorce or breakup is, can be tough. But even though your relationship together cannot work you can build a completely different one together for your child. You could try co-parenting.
Heterosexual co-parenting is a possible way forward for both you and your ex partner to provide the best possible care for your child. When your both going through that difficult time you can still come together and help your child through it. Your choices for your child will not have changed, why should they change now, you are no longer together. The thought of being a single parent with all the responsibilities does not have to happen. You are still both parents to your child and heterosexual co-parenting will lighten the load of responsibilities from you.You have to remember your child is the innocent person in your breakup and should not be used as a tool to hurt each other; your child will not respect you in anyway. Being able to come together with a mature and responsible approach will teach your child that relationships come in many forms, your child can grow knowing both parents love their child unconditionally.
Resentment can build up between parents who are not communicating; children feel the tension and can begin to play each off against each other, with comments such as ... ‘my mummy lets me do that’ ‘my daddy said I can have that’ which then creates further arguments between parents. Showing the child you are both still there equally and communicate well with each other allows the child a stable and healthy future. Heterosexual co-parenting is hard but your child can have a much happier and secure life.Divorce and separation doesn’t have to be painful experience for your child. Life goes on. Giving your child the best of you both will encourage your child to respect you both equally.
Traditionally co-parenting was thought of that a couple that had separated or divorced has equally responsibilities in the upbringing of their child. Today however there are many homosexual couples wishing to have a baby. Many gay and lesbian couples look in to co-parenting. An agreement will be arranged, which could be verbal or written before conception, which will allow both to have joint involvement in the child’s upbringing.
If you are a lesbian couple you would first need to decide with of you in the couple will carry the child, and then select a male who would be happy to become the child’s father and have joint access to the child. Today there are many single men who wish to have a child but through life’s circumstances have not had the opportunity and therefore co-parenting would be a great option for all parties. Another option is the donor being a close willing friend.Homosexual co-parenting has become increasing popular today, though legal responsibility needs to be considered and is completely recommended, not only for your own wishes but for the child’s as well. All issues would need to be agreed and finalised before conception, such as how much contact each person wishes to have and how their child will be brought up. You do not want any issues arising after conception or after the child is born. It is an emotional time for all concerned. You also need to make sure the person you have chosen to be your co-parent is who they say they are if you have chose someone you do not know.
To ensure a stable upbringing of the child, all parties need support from their family and friends. As we know in today’s society gay and lesbian relationships are now more acceptable, although it may be hard for the families at first. Maintaining good relationships through family and friends when you are considering Homosexual co-parenting their support is paramount as it can still be looked down upon and not accepted when gay and lesbian couple have a baby to the outside world. The child will need as much love and support in case they face hardship and judgement when at school. Homosexual co-parenting has no less value as any other parenting today, having a child and raising them the best possible way, with unconditional love is what every child needs to enter today’s world.
When there is a breakdown in a relationship and a couple go their separate ways, it can become a very difficult time for any child, any age. Sometimes the effect on the children can be forgotten about when parents are going through their own emotion time. Children can feel left out unsure what will happen to them, also when one parent leaves they are left wondering who will be next to leave them and they can become very detached to people so they don’t get hurt again. Sometimes it only when the damage has been done emotionally to a child and both parents realise their needs wasn’t taken in to account when the split happened, it is then too difficult to reassure the child of anything else.This is one of the main reasons that after a couple separates, the first thought should be of the child, as hard as it is when you are in an emotional state. Joint co-parenting is the key to a child’s happy and healthy life. Just because your relationship cannot work anymore as a couple you still can have a relationship as a parent. The moment you become a parent you stay one for the rest of your life. How you raise a child will determine the outcome of the child’s values in life.
A child has a right to both parents equally in their life. Being able work together in joint co-parenting will have massive benefits to the child. Though talking together, working together will allow the child to maintain an equal relationship with both parents. Both parents being part of their school life will allow the child to share their own life’s experiences with the two people who are the most important people in the world to them.
Through joint parenting the child can fully have a happy a secure life without their parents living under the same roof but can come together and communicate. At the start of the relationship break down it may be advised to seek help in order to discuss the child’s upbringing, so that there is no fallouts. This can be done with members of the family that can have an impartial opinion or through counselling or mediation. Once the basics are maintained and emotions have settled both parents can begin their journey of becoming the best parents they can without being in a relationship with each other.
The current legislation
When looking at the law in co-parenting, it can be different for each family concerned. In a traditional mother and father co-parenting usually if both parties agree the court agrees that this is the best outcome for the child. If one parent is not in complete agreement it is then looked into a lot more. Depending on the child’s age the child will be asked what they want and considered in the outcome.
The place of accommodation is looked into to see if it is suitable for the child. In most cases it is usually the mother who gains full custody of the child. When a father wants custody the courts will see if living with the father is more suitable for the child. However today is it seen than both parents are needed to have a part in the child’s life and if it will be a stable a healthy option for the child co-parenting is agreed?
However the law is different regarding co-parenting with gay and lesbian couples. As there is a donor who is involved, laws are put into place to protect everyone involved. Laws differ from state to state in the US which is why a parenting agreement should be established to protect the rights of the second parent ie: the one who is not the biological mother or father of the child if he or she is not recognized as a legal parentWhen a gay man donates his sperm and wants to co-parent he will be seen as the legal father and have parent responsibility as well as the right to a say in the upbringing of the child. If there is a breakdown in the relationship between partners the court will look at the circumstances to see what the best is for the child.In most cases it all comes down to the best interest of the child. Where the best place for the child is, to ensure they will be brought up in a suitable environment. Each case can be different on the individual circumstances. When you are looking at co-parenting it is essential that full legal advice is sort out before decisions are made, once conception has happened there will become a lot of emotions involved.